Sunday, May 23, 2010

Beware: Women are better in spotting lies!

…so men, beware! Ever heard of “Women’s intuition”(that women are more intuitive than men)? Yes? Well, it’s not true. Researches have proven that women are no more intuitive than men. But don’t rejoice just yet! Women are more specific to details which make them seem to have this “sixth sense”.

Everyone can read body language—at least, in a subconscious level. Ever wonder why sometimes when you meet someone, even for the first time, you have this hunch that this person is snobbish or friendly, can’t be trusted, or is interested in you? It may be because you have read their body language. They might be using gestures/ postures that are telling you what they really feel.

When we talk, it is not just what we say—it is how we say it. Below is a chart that illustrates how important body language is in communicating. A whopping 60% accounts for body language. Some research would even say 80% (55-80%). The voice (intonation, pitch, etc) stands for 30% (20-30%) and only 10% (7-10%) is about the words we say. With these information, we should really do pay much attention on body language.

In general, women are better on spotting lies or sense if something is wrong. Not because we have a sixth sense but because we have a keener eye for detail. But of course, there are some men who are also good at this or even better—I am not discounting that fact, I know one person who is.

It will be helpful if we would be knowledgeable about body language. It can help us in building relationships and establishing trust in business. How about knowing how to spot a “NO” and turning it into a “YES”? Well, we’ll talk about this on another time. Meanwhile, here are some negative and positive signals/ gestures to watch out for (from The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Clear Communication):

Negative Signals

for Boredom

· doodling

· drumming fingers

· crossed legs with foot swinging or kicking

· head in hands

· blank stare

· taking deep breath

· tapping floor with foot

· clicking pen in and out

for Frustration

· short breaths

· “tssk”sounds

· Hands tightly clenched

· Wringing hands

· Fist-like gestures

· Pointing index fingers

· Running hand through hair

· Rubbing back of neck

· Kicking the ground or imaginary object

Positive Signals

for Cooperation

· Sprinter’s position

· Open hands

· Sitting on edge of chair

· Unbuttoning coat

· Tilted head

· Leaning toward you

· Moving closer to you

These are just some signals that we usually see. But again, do not read gestures in isolation. It should be in clusters. They can have different meanings in different situations and across cultures. Do not over analyze.

Sources: He Says She Says by Glass, Lillian (1992). The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Clear Communication by Cole, Kim (2002). Why Men Don’t Listen & Women Can’t Read Maps by Pease, Allan & Barbara (2001).

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